2014

new post. new year, new laptop. :)

i think my endurance level is quite high (puji diri sendiri pulak)

i can live with the slowest ever laptop back in uni years.When I typed one word, i can go make a cup of coffee first while waiting for those words to appear.

I am not an athletic kind of person,back in school, when i was in a netball team (class netball team), i never get to play, because i am not aggressive. But hey! i can stand paddling all day long under the hot sun along Sungai Pahang! and whenever i go hiking, i can stand being the last one to reach the basecamp or summit. 

oh even my handphone, i can stand living without a handphone charger. i lived by charging the phone anywhere, anytime using any charger. hahah

 well, it all depends on perspective.

Today, in 2014 i'll list out few life lessons that i learnt : 

1) Happiness is a choice. I hear this often even during my uni years, but i came to realize and practice them quite recently.

2) If you can't change the situation, change the perspective ( this one lesson i learnt in 2013)

3) But if you can change the situation, work towards that ( am working on it)

4) Life is about making decisions, and there are no right decision. The most important thing is how you make a decision. ( Back in 2013, i made few significant decisions about my life, which i felt was the right thing to do, and now in 2014, when i was about to face the impact of those decisions, i am considering to take a detour) ALLAH knows best. whatever path that i choose, may that path leads me to ALLAH and prophet Muhammad pbuh. 

5) Learn to respond not react. Whenever people are being harsh and mean to me, i learnt that if i just be patient, don't react, think before respond, i ll realize that they are just being insecure. So, just be patient.

ok that's it. My life has always been good. Alhamdulillah ya ALLAH for the blessings. 

perlu ke tajuk?

penatnya hari ni..............

aku tau hari ni akan jadi x best dari awal lagi, sebab firstly aku terlepas subuh, semua jadi x kena, keluar rumah tertinggal phone, pergi bank 4,5,6,7 kali. plan nak mop rumah and lipat baju x jadi, sorang member buat kite rasa kecik hati, sekarang dok rumah sorang sorang rasa sunyi.

Teringat borak dengan kawan, die kata family die besar susah nak kumpul semua, tapi sgt close, walaupun masing masing banyak komitmen kawan, kerja, usrah, etc etc, tapi xde pulak rasa distant amongst family member.

then aku teringat sorang kawan cakap pasal keberkatan. huraian die macam ni, bile kite kejar akhirat and cinta ALLAH, ALLAH akan memelihara kita, memberi berkat dan rahmat. so aku macam nak cipta satu doa,

" Ya ALLAH, aku mohon keberkatan dalam setiap saat dalam hidup aku, bantulah aku dalam cita-cita dan impianku demiMU, walau sesibuk mana aku dalam urusan kerjaya ku, bantulah aku untuk memberi masa, kudrat, wang, kasih sayang dan perhatianku untuk ibu bapaku, adik beradikku, nenek nenekku, makcik dan pakcikku, sepupu sepupu ku, kaum kerabatku, sahabat sahabat ku, jiran-jiran ku, dan insyaallah, adik adik ipar ku, anak-anak saudara ku, dan seterusnya suami, anak anak, mertua, ipar duai, kaum kerabat baru dan diriku sendiri, Semoga hubungan kita, semakin hari semakin intim,aku mohon walau apa pun terjadi, pelihara cintaku terhadapmu"

sebab aku rasa, macam kes kawan aku yang aku cerita tu, mungkin sebab allah memberkati keluarga mereka, walaupun jarang jumpa, tapi hubungan kekeluargaan tetap utuh, dan aku kagum.

aku pernah rasa puas sangat bila aku kerja bersungguh sungguh, tapi pada masa yang sama aku dapat attend keduri kahwin and dapat spend time dgn keluarga,sedara and sahabat dan ziarah org sakit dan bile dapat accomplish banyak to do list dalam masa yang singkat. aku rasa itulah keberkatan masa.

dan hari ni, macam x berapa nk best sangat, tapi ada few good things that happened today:

- dapat makan nasi lemak best kt sg merap dgn ayahsu, suhail and Aisha
- check in ticket untuk family balik Malaysia
- transfer duit (yg ni paling mencabar)
 apa pun aku cuba sehabis baik to make today better than yesterday, tapi macam x pulak,wallahualam. semua pun insyaallah ada hikmahnya. tapi rasa x best sebab start hari dengan subuh gajah dan zuhur dinosaur.

semoga esok lebih baik. ameen ya rabb.

Ujian

Lamanya tak blogging!! Post yang terbaru pun pendek je, sebenarnya masa tu tengah semangat nak update blog, tapi came across few posts while blogwalking, terus tawar hati nak cakap banyak2. Sekarang tengah belajar untuk diam dan buat kerja. Tapi hari ni nak share something that i feel that i have to :

Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah, The Creator of me, my family, friends, colleagues, and the whole universe. Praise be upon Him, for He is the reason we are here, thus the purpose of everything is to submit to ALLAH. If someone is stalking me, knows every single bit of my life and she has to make dua to Allah, on behalf of me, 95% of the doa, would be words of gratitude. Thank you ALLAH.

Life has been smooth for me as far as i can remember. Even during my freshman year as a pharmacist, i have to admit, it was not that bad as compared to my friends. Listening to what my colleagues have gone through on and on, makes me wonder and i asked my mum ;

" Umi,we know that ALLAH tests those whom He loves and ALLAH considers HIS servants capabilities before testing them. I don't feel that i am being tested, because things has been very smooth for me as compared to my friends, i wonder why"

I guess i have been listening and reading to so many "luahan hati" sessions regarding work( mostly since it was our first year of working) at the same time listening to so many words of wisdom to motivate them such as " ALLAH loves you more that He tests you", " This is what great people has to face" etc etc etc...that somehow i envy them.

Those thoughts and feelings went on about a week, when one lovely evening after friday lunch call, at UNIKEB,  i received a phone call, ( i think it was december 2011)

" Shifaa, 22 Oktober, ada salah bagi ubat" - That is when the whole world starts spinning.....

After 2 months, a patient came back shouting angrily at the pharmacy complaining that he was dispensed with wrong medication by me. It was a serious mistake, serious enough that the patient complained to the specialist, asking the doctor to refer him to other hospital, serious enough that i pray for his health day and night.And i can't tell you more about it......

That was the worst thing that ever happened to me and i hope that is only it. I was devastated that i spent most days at work crying in the toilet, later bursting into tears all the way back home, and at home.

but i finally gained control after what my parents said to me :

abah : Shifaa, if you keep on crying, that means you are not pleased (redha) with ALLAH. A servant of ALLAH may feel sad for what happened but must accept the fact that, what happen had happened and there is nothing that you can change, so move on, and try your best not to repeat the same mistake. That is a sign of redha.

umi : Shifaa, i recalled that lately you keep on telling me that you don't feel that you are tested....be careful with what you wish for.

ASTAGHFIRULLAH.........

Forgive me ALLAH, for being so arrogant and snobbish, thinking that i am not being tested. Because ALLAH tests his servants in many different ways, and that includes, comfort, ease, wealth. The harder part is because, it is easy to forget that it's a test. ASTAGHFIRULLAH......

To whoever reading this, i am sorry if i once envied you. I had already realized few years back, after the incident; that it is such an inappropriate feeling. wallahualam.