Saturday, September 10, 2016

Old draft of Motherhood, Publish je lah

Date : 17 January 2016
Time: 10.23 am

Time left: 30 minutes of when 'umayr wakes up

Husband is out for a meeting - cook - checked - shower -checked - at 11 - mama is coming - open the shop - must write - about - motherhood - fast . thankful - internet connection- husband's desktop not slow -


One word to describe motherhood ~~~ roller coaster ride! (this is exactly how i felt just after i gave birth to 'Umayr, the Muslim Hero <3 p="">
Today, is already 6 months 2 days.

I remembered talking to my dear M about wanting to write about the whole new overwhelming feeling of being a mother, She said please do it as i already forgot how it feels like. I was shocked at first but today i realised she is correct. So must write down quickly, so at least something is written.

During the c-sect procedure, i was aware but too scared to think about what is going on, so i closed my eyes and prayed. Pray to ALLAH so that Umayr is safe and healthy.

and alhamdulillah. thank you ALLAH.

The night that Umayr was born, Umi helped me in the ward, so it was okay. Unfortunately the hospital only allowed her to be there only for the first night and not to be there even during the day.

So i was left alone with my baby (we haven't name him until 1 week), the new life, small, helpless, fragile sleeping beside me.

Oh first of all, just to remind you that i am such a careless and disorganized lady, i don't have everything planned perfectly, when i travel, i pack light and fast - so that describes my character.

and breastfeeding - it is not easy!!!! i had difficulties in positioning myself and Umayr, also in latching. I remembered in one of the whatsapp conversation when my friend E telling us how difficult it was to latch, i really can't imagine.

I was uncomfortable, clueless yet i felt a huge surge of responsiblity upon me. Of course, Umayr cried most of the time and i panic. Hearing the cry make s me want to cry too, because Umayr was so helpless. It was his first day in this dunya, of course evrything is new to him. I wanted to make him feel secure, and comfortable but at the same time everything is new to me too!At that time my whole perspective..............

ok continue later

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