birthday surprises

Gosh i suck!

This year, i planned to make birthday surprises to the one who is new to me, i mean my husband and children.

To compare, my parents and my siblings and even friends, i knew them longer than my husband and my children

But usually for birthday surprises, i always be the sidekick who helped the one who planned everything.

But for my husband, this year i tried to plan a very simple birthday surprise, but end up disaster. It caused miscommunication and brought me to tears. It is not a disaster like a family problem or anything, but the miscommunication is good enough for me to cry. Totally its nobody s mistake. Just that i deal with people that i just knew for less than 10 years. The connection is not secured

But i tried few other times,

another birthday surprise for my husband few days later, and anniversary surprise. (Well i think i did quite well as no miscommunication occurred)

i did not give up

And now for Umayr birthday, almost same thing happened, i cried, no, actually i m holding back my tears right now.

luckily i plan another surprise few days later, well hope everything runs smooth and ALLAH bless my effort.

well i am not a perfectionist, i am okay for flawed cake or anything. The last thing i want is a miscommunication or misunderstood intention

i really need to let this out, not on FB or IG, so here goes me blogging at work so i can put things into perspective

some people think that i am confident to confront, and speak out my opinion or anything. But they dont know how many rejections that i already faced, but i just keep on thinking positive. Forget those rejections.

This time i am so fragile, i cant hold it anymore. Let me pour my heart out here, at my safe place.