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i just need to let it out or maybe the best word is to write it out.

FB is not relevant, Blog is ok because the one who really cares who reads this, dan customer dan staff takkan baca kot.

aku sedih. rasa lemah semangat. Pada msa yang sama aku rasa aku hebat. Macam mana tu?

Ya ALLAH semoga apa yang umayr lalui menjadi tarbiyyah yang hebat dalam membentuk peribadi muslim yang mantap.

Tadi nak edar fliers. jerebu teruk. Hukum nya harus bagi aku untuk edar . sebab sales meningkat tapi perlu meningkat dengan kadar yang lebih cepat. aku rasa bertanggungjawab terhadap pemegang saham syarikat. bukan rasa tapi memang bertanggungjawab. Of course boleh suruh staff. tapi sebagai bos aku kena guide first time. kasi diorg semangat jugak. tapi nangis dulu sorg sorg dalam bilik air bila tgk umayr. tak sanggup nak bawa dia keluar dlm keadaan jerebu teruk. walaupun dari kedai ke kereta. rasa kesian sgt. mesej dlm group shareholder dgn harapan dapat sikit acknowledgement ttg perasaan dan concern aku tapi...apa yang aku luahkan dipandang sepi. Diorg tak faham. sekurang kurangnya cakaplah aku seorang ibu yang hebat. apekah....

orang boleh kata kenap tak itu dan kenapa tak ini...aku hargai pandangan dan aku ambil serius dan jumpa jalan penyelesaian...cuma aku nak diorg cakap...shifaa mmg it is not easy to handle a new business (retail) with new baby. syukur suamiku faham. kami sama sama dlm retail yg berbeza. jadi aku pun faham apa kesukaran yg dialaminya, tapi mungkin lelaki ni cara handle lain.

aku ni, menyusu..dengan surge of prolactin dan oxytocin mneyebabkan aku sensitif kot. namgis je la jawabnya

kali ni tulis je ...x sempat nak update blog. 15 minit ni curi masa luahkan semua. tidur. esok bangun dgn harapan baru. kekuatan baru keazaman baru.

ya allah pergantunganku kepadamu semain kuat. itu satu hikmah yang aku rsa sekarang. kalau semua smooth and steady nanti bila dah berjaya aku xleh nak cerita ive gone through this.

aku byk belajar dari kesilapan satu persatu.

YA ALLAH, aku mohon kekuatan dan barokah. dan peliharalah umayr. patut menagdu dlm solat lagi afdal. tapi nak jgk tulis blog

Ujian

Bismillahirahmanirrahim,

Fuh I am not sure how in future I am going to update my blog. Yes, indeed for those who read a lot, and writes, they shall stay consistent updating their blog.

Anyway today I am alone, husband is working (opps i'm married, alhamdulilllah), parents went out for kenduri, younger sister went for driving lesson, and I'm alone at home staring at the TV, hopping from one channel to another. TV programmes can't seem to satisfy me lately....then dozed off

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Woke up, the TV still on, it s NONA. One of the segments really caught  my interest, I end up with teary eye.

Story 1:

A story of 57 years old man, who opened 7 eleven in Bukit Bintang in 1984. His dad passed away in 1990 which made him decide to let go everything and stay at the village to take care of his mom who suffers from stroke. What really caught my interest was, as compared to many other similar true stories shown on TV whereby we shall feel sympathy towards the family and shed some tears out of humanity, this man is different. The house was very simple, like many other wooden village house.
The segment showed how he bathe his mom, helped her take wudhu, wear the telekung and perform solat. He prepares her food and drinks, and his mom looks very clean. Then he shall help to put a small desk on her bed for his mom to read the quran. Everything looks clean and organized. In most case we shall notice the caregiver looks quite tired, but not this man. He never stop smiling!!!! Subhanallah, he does seems very happy. He said, treat your mother like a queen. and he really does treat her like a queen. At that moment, I felt quite jealous of him, because I am sure he is one of the chosen one by ALLAH. He is still single, but I believe, it's because he is too good for any women on earth. He might be seeing his other half in heaven. Insyaallah.

Story 2:

It's almost the same as story 1, but it is between husband and wife. And the family are quite well to do. The husband who is actually a public figure Jins Samsuddin, suffers from Alzheimer. The wife took care of him almost the same way as the man in story 1. What really made me cried was her inspiring words.

" Saya bersyukur kepada Allah kerana diberi peluang untuk merasai ujian kecil ini"

Subhanaallah

after all, that s what life in this world for. to be tested. Hereafter is the ultimate.

inspired. I realized I haven't perform Zuhr prayer, so I switched off the TV.