Movie Review (Different perspective) - Nice View 2022

So I saw few friends in the same industry (business owners) share a review about this new movie Nice View 2022

Most of them wrote that it s an inspiring movie for most business owners who are facing challenges in this difficult times. 

This time I thought it s the best genre for both me and izzat to watch, since tomorrow is school holiday so no need to rush in the morning.

Just finished watching them, and I cried so hard that my face swell, people might think I had a fight tomorrow. 

Well as for synopsis, (you can Google later). I thought that I can relate most to the main character, jing hou as he is the one who face the ordeals and all. Unfortunately, no I can't relate to him. We are totally not in the same boat. I totally can not relate. He is actually a small business owner who provide phone repairing service. However, he was desperate to get some amount of money to fund his sister's operation. So he decide to venture into a new business. 

Why I cried so hard is that, I don't see myself in him, but what I felt was I see myself in the antagonist character. Well if you are in business, usually we are a risk taker, braver than anyone else, but usually we calculate and assess the risk and find other less riskier solutions. Somehow I felt that there must other ways to find some money to fund his sister's operation. 

What hit me was, when he was unable to pay rent for his new factory for two months, and the landlord say, " everyone has their own problem, by not paying rent I too shall face so many problem, have you considered my problem too???!!"

That's when it hit me. Sometimes I got so angry, that I always muttered this kind of phrases in my own daily monologue. Well some of the phrases sounds like this " yeah, yeah, so you have a problem and the whole world must help you, such and entitled person!"

Sounds bad huh

Well, I ve seen a number of people who make decisions like Jing Hou. Well I don't know the details as in the reason and on. And also I ve seen some people that I know being accused as scammer too (but I don't investigate further). Well maybe they are in their desperate times. We never know. 

I was reflecting, let say Jing Hou is my friend , but maybe not my best ones.I might not lend my money. 

Sometimes I forget that people from different backgrounds make different business judgements. Sometimes I felt angry if they are close and important person to me. 

And some people, they just keep on cycling the bicycle, even when the bicycle is broken, and what they need is to stop and repair the bicycle first (it s an analogy). Well I can't stop the bicycle, because I am cycling mine too, and no I can't yell them and ask them to stop. It's their bicycle and their track.  The most that I can do is to keep an eye on them, and if they fall down, I can give them a ride. (Sometimes syaitan whisper to me ' but who s going to keep an eye on you???)

Astaghfirullahalazim

I felt so bad after watching this movie. It made me ponder, that sometimes Allah grant you health and money, and time , so when you lend them to others and they still can not afford to pay back (eventhough, you felt that when there is a will there is a way, you just always play victim), just give them more time and be kind, as long as you still can manage yours. 

Another part of the movie that made me cried so hard, is that I never see Jing hao lose his temper towards his sister even at the most stressful time (of course it s a movie). It serves as Reminder to me, that being with children, they are innocent, try your best not to scold them but guide them. Usually I lose my temper when i felt too tired and stressed out (why do we feel that? Well maybe because we are too tired) but why we lose our coolness? Because I forget to feel grateful for what I have during that moment. Not that you can not be angry, but it s how you express your anger. 

Insyaallah it s really like a personal tazkirah to me whatching this movie. Thank God I watch it alone, because I definitely do not share the same relation as others. 

Astaghfirullahalazim, may Allah leads us to the right path and guide us and our children and spouses. Ameen

Insyaallah update blog lebih kerap

Bila dah mula tulis blog, mula lah dok baca post post lama Dari zaman student. Nak tergelak baca. Rasa menyesal juga sbb tak tulis banyak lagi. 

Banyak kot kisah kisah Yang boleh dikongsi, kisah Zaman uni, kisah travel. 

Sekarang tulis tak heran dah orang baca. Lebih kepada kesihatan otak. Nak jadi macam tun M

Cuma Tula zaman zaman scammer ni cuak juga. Tgh fikir Cara yg lebih secure. Ke mmg secure dah eh. 

My Perfect Roomate~loneliness

So, alhamdulillah my husband subscribed iqiy so, we can enjoy various movies for free without interruption. 

Well, I just finished watching My Perfect Roomate, a Korean movie.  It s totally not my husband's genre, so he fell asleep even before the movie begins. This time, I just continue watching. It has been so long since a enjoy watching movies and dramas alone on a laptop. Well after being married, I tend to settle with genre that interest both of us. I have to say 'I' instead of 'We' because I think I have wider range of genres that I can enjoy. 

Being in a community pharmacy (ohhh now it s really not a good time thinking about it, because I need to focus on business aspect of it which is not so overwhelming - overwhelming is good~ the humanity aspect of it that keeps me going)

There are so many stories, a real one that I feel that I can share. Sometimes I wish that I can just straight away write a poem, so my readers (chewah) can get the message without being disrespectful towards the real person in my story. 

Back to the movie. It s quite slow movie, but I love the vivid and detail point that they highlight, such as how the meals are cooked, the house is cleaned and all. Okay so the movie is actually a story of a relationship of a lonely old lady who was a nurse in Germany, and now came back to Korea and live alone in her comfortable house. Typical of elderly, not only Koreans, but also Malays, they are very careful in earning and spending money. So she joined a program where a student can stay and pay rent in her house. So Jiwoong ia a very nice, thoughtful, sincere student from Seoul University, is the one who stay with her. Jiwoong is also a lonely young man, raised in an orphanage. So the movie is about them living together, both has trauma in the past, and how they overcome them and finally decide to become a family. 

Loneliness is real. 

There is one lady, who is actually in the same age of mine, used to took care of her sick mother and grandmother. Her whole day was busy from ensuring they have enough supplies of medicines, diapers, proper food that is healthy and tasty, making sure that they don't miss the hospital appointments. Comparing price for their basic healthcare needs. And yes raising her own children too. Her whole days was packed. And now, her children already in secondary school, her mother and grandmother has passed away. And now she is so free. Of course her husband is there too. But, she just feel that it very lonely. She told me, yes we really need to learn to live in lonliness. Somehow I just felt so touched. 

Kadang kadang kesibukan, kelelahan, segala kepayahan itulah Yang membuat Kita hidup. 

Well I have elderly customers too, who love to come and have a long chat with us. Sometimes, the conversation can drag up to almost an hour. I keep reminding myself and my staff that, if talking to us help them to cope with their lonliness, then just hold your breath, cover your 'menguap' underneath your mask. And trust yourself that you have done a good deed. 

Kadang kadang Kita tak tahu kehidupan Kita Di Hari Tua bagaimana. Kita mula mengulang ulang cerita Yang Sama, Dan mereka Yang mendengar berusaha untuk kekal sopan Dan menghormati. 

Kerana itu lah, akhirat itulah Yang abadi. Tiada Rasa bosan, tiada Rasa sunyi, Rasa gembira, seronok, tentang, puas selama lamanya. 

La hawla wala quwwata illabillah

Tahun 2020-Kisah Covid 19 (1)

Tahun 2020 sudah hampir melabuhkan tirai. Tahun yang penuh kelainan bagi semua. 

Allah Maha Kaya, Maha berkuasa. 

Semuanya bermula apabila seorang pekerja dari INTI college datang ke kedai untuk membeli mask N95?. 

Seingat saya masa tu kami ada banyak. Itulah mask ni biasa memang kita standby masa jerebu, tapi bila dah tak ada apa apa, duduk la kat rak tu jadi perkasam. Jadi bila dia nak beli pastu nak borong semua bukan main gembira lah kami. 

Rupanya dia beli untuk pelajar INTI kolej dari China yang nak balik ke China untuk Chinese New Year. Mereka diserang Coronavirus. 

Baru la kita ambil tau sikit sikit berita dunia yang memang ada dah update pasal virus tu di Wuhan. 

Tiba tiba ramai pula Orang yang nak ke China datang ke kedai mencari mask N95.

Maka bermula episod stock up mask dari supplier. Seronok jual mask ni, mudah takyah explain sangat, margin pun cantik. Tapi kalau xde apa apa memang tak ada reason orang nak beli. Lagipun hanya farmasi je la yang jual all kinds of medical or surgical grade mask. 

Sambung next post insyaAllah.

Ini gambar november, kita baru sanitize kedai. Panjang lagi cerita. 

birthday surprises

Gosh i suck!

This year, i planned to make birthday surprises to the one who is new to me, i mean my husband and children.

To compare, my parents and my siblings and even friends, i knew them longer than my husband and my children

But usually for birthday surprises, i always be the sidekick who helped the one who planned everything.

But for my husband, this year i tried to plan a very simple birthday surprise, but end up disaster. It caused miscommunication and brought me to tears. It is not a disaster like a family problem or anything, but the miscommunication is good enough for me to cry. Totally its nobody s mistake. Just that i deal with people that i just knew for less than 10 years. The connection is not secured

But i tried few other times,

another birthday surprise for my husband few days later, and anniversary surprise. (Well i think i did quite well as no miscommunication occurred)

i did not give up

And now for Umayr birthday, almost same thing happened, i cried, no, actually i m holding back my tears right now.

luckily i plan another surprise few days later, well hope everything runs smooth and ALLAH bless my effort.

well i am not a perfectionist, i am okay for flawed cake or anything. The last thing i want is a miscommunication or misunderstood intention

i really need to let this out, not on FB or IG, so here goes me blogging at work so i can put things into perspective

some people think that i am confident to confront, and speak out my opinion or anything. But they dont know how many rejections that i already faced, but i just keep on thinking positive. Forget those rejections.

This time i am so fragile, i cant hold it anymore. Let me pour my heart out here, at my safe place.

HAJAT

Okay i have been delaying my post

i think this is my safe place

the previous post only viewed once

okay i would like to pen down my thoughts about my business

i always feel that it is personal and a secret

i have a notebook to write down my dreams but always i lost it


regarding me and my pharmacy

one thing that i observe is that people are so keen on opening branch of pharmacy and that seems like their yardstick

well me?

i think i am so conservative. my concern is the personal touch that i want to maintain

every story is a secret, every customer complaint is my secret.

it is not that i dont want to go big, yes i do!

satu hajat saya, dan saya belum suarakan kepada pemegang saham ialah, saya berdoa untuk majukan syarikat sehingga akhirnya saya boleh wakafkan perniagaan ini untuk ummah, dan menjadi saham saya di akhirat kelak dan tidak menjadi fitnah di kemudian hari.

ameen

Wardah Warded

5.3.2020

Ward 6D, bed 1

Hospital Serdang

00:13 am

Day 10 of admission

Rojak rojak la english dan malay

Buat pertama kali, anak admitted. Ramai tanya kenapa tak masuk private. 

Hari Sabtu 22.2.2020 kot, tarikh pak andak Umayr dan Wardah kahwin, Wardah start demam panas. Nasib bawa ear thermometer, tak sampai sejam asyik periksa saja suhu, tinggi! 38++

Bagi pcm supp setiap 6 jam, tak kebah. Muntah banyak kali, dan cirit pulak. Gundah gulana hati ini, tak nikmat nak hayati wedding pak andak korang, risau!

Esoknya sebenarnya plan nak sambung cuti, tapi wardah tak sihat kan, jadi duduk rumah je lah. Tapi masih tak resolved, muntah dan demam kurang,tapi masih lemah, tak main pun dengan Umayr 😢

Masuk isnin tu, muntah teruk balik, aduh, pergila cari klinik private yang boleh bagi iv drip. Sekali xde, jadi fikir fikir decide pergi serdang. Yelah, kita ni bukan jenis boleh cuti senang.kalau bawa pergi private confirm kena admit, mungkin lah selesa, tapi susah la pasal kerja kan. Kalau hospital kerajaan ni, kalau tak perlu diorang takkan admit. 

Sampai serdang, sekali dr cek spo2 94%, wbc 33, crp 284, demam tak resolved, selera tak improve even dekat observation bay.x-ray pun x cantik😭

Akhirnya terpaksalah wardah admitted to ward

strength

Sometimes, i just wish that i fell so sick, that everyone around me realised that i am tired. 

Ya ALLAH please protect me

internal strength

Saya kena lebih kerap menulis, untuk kenangan. 

Tentang Wardah, anak kedua saya, alhamdulillah seorang yang solehah. Pada hari ini, badan wardah panas sikit, air liur banyak keluar,mungkin nak tumbuh gigi, merap sepanjang hari. Tiba tiba lupa pula macam mana umayr masa kecil macam mana. Itulah pentingnya tulis, kerana motherhood is so overwhelming that you tend to forget. Not that it is not important, but you are so focus about the present. 

Jadi hari ini rasa overwhelmed dan penat sangat. Rasa nak nangis tapi kat tempat kerja, ada staff, ada customers. Sambil dukung wardah masuk bilik air, nangis cepat cepat. Pastu cuci muka keluar balik.

Kebanyakan masa, my self talk yang kuatkan diri. Jumpa customers yang nasib lebih malang, insaf sekejap, tapi masih rasa penat. Jadi nangis lagi dalam bilik air. 

Sayang sangat wardah dan umayr. Sebenarnya kena latih diri punyai internal strength yang kuat. Pujuk diri sendiri dan hargai juga pujukan Allah. 

Sebab saya tak cerita kepada sesiapa segala rant ttg hidup peribadi. 

Sekarang dah tutup kedai masuk kereta terus wardah tidur, jadi blog la dulu sebelum balik. 

Suatu hari saya menangis teresak esak

Kenangan ini bermain main di minda, teragak agak nak kongsi atau tidak. Bagi saya ia adalah satu insiden yang sangat terkesan. Jadi saya cerita hanya sebagai kenangan.

Rasanya dalam bulan July 2018, saya sedang sarat mengandungkan Wardah. Umayr pula kebetulan cuti sekolah. Izzat, kebetulan tiada staff. Saya pula ada seorang staff permanent, dan part timer kebetulan masa tu Ezzah (adik ipar)

Jadi saya bawa la umayr ikut saya ke kedai seperti biasa. Mungkin sebab pregnant, jadi saya sangat letih, masa tu travel jauh lagi. Letih sangat

Balik kerja lebih kurang 10.40pm sampai kajang. Dah mandi, masa solat tu, doa sungguh sungguh kat Allah. "Ya ALLAH, aku penat sangat"

Tiba tiba telefon berdering, belum buka telekung, tengok yang call Umi. Angkat la takut ada urusan penting..

Umi tanya, kat mana, jawab la kat rumah. Tiba tiba umi kata, esok hantarla umayr rumah umi, shifaa boleh rehat sikit.

Masa tu, Ya Allah, banjir terus. Laju sangat air mata jatuh, tapi cover suara, cakap takpe ke, tapi sebab nak cover nangis, terus cakap okay thank you. Lepas letak telefon, sambung nangis yang teresak esak.

Serius, dah lama x nangis teresak esak.
Izzat masuk bilik terus cuak tgk saya nangis macam tu.

Rupanya adik saya Numan dan ezzah balik kerja, cakap kat umi, kesian pulak tengok shifaa nampak penat sangat, nak handle kedai, jaga umayr yang tengah aktif, mengandung lagi.

Ya ALLAH, bila ingat balik memang sebak . Sebab Allah jawab terus doa. Onthespot.

Terima kasih Allah,
Terima kasih. Numan dan ezzah
Terima kasih umi

Untuk kenangan ini

Why not facebook?

10.15pm
Desa Cempaka,Nilai

Df ing Wardah while blogging.

Why I choose to write here?

It is because facebook is so open, I don't share so much personal things there. Although I no longer add or approve any new friends since 2014, which means my friends in the list are real one. I still feel facebook is where people have other interest.

Then I decide to share personal photos on instagram. I follow 42 profiles whom are my immediate family, in laws, cousins and close friends and umayrs kindergarten; and only have 36 followers. I do share thoughts there.

But blog is more personal, I feel that no one reads my blog except for those who really wants to read my thoughts. Even my family don't read them. I feel safe here. I don't make it private because just in case,if my time in dunia has ended, I hope that someone can contact my children and husband and give them this link, sebagai kenangan

Okay thats all, now all is raw, no time for editting, have to blog fast

Wahai Anak Anak

Assalamualaikum,

Kenapa saya ambil keputusan untuk menulis semula?

Mungkin suatu hari nanti bila anak anak dah besar, boleh mengenali lebih tentang diri ini.

Ya, parents juga manusia biasa. Saya pun, bukan la sentiasa positif, kuat semangat, tak perlu rasa rendah diri.

Memang ada masa, kita akan rasa DOWN, nak give up, marah, emosi

Itu normal, yang penting bagaimana mengurusnya mengikut kehendak Allah

Saya akan kongsi kisah dan buah fikiran

2019

Saja sapu sapu sikit kasi tak berhabuk. Hampir 2 tahun tak menulis

Redha

Umayr is sleeping, izzat is at work, it s already 5.30pm. Just want to laze and at least publish a new post.

One of the best advice that i get before getting married is from my mom.

Like other people, we love to hear stories about our parents when they were young.

Amazingly, my parents are not those typical parents in malay drama who tells their kids how hard their life is when they were young or just married.

I remember my mom and dad will laugh when they reminisce their early married life. Like how they have to korek my tabung (the duit raya that i as the first baby collected as i was born) to buy diapers milk powders and other neccessities. And how they control their finance such as 1 fish for 2 person. And how their house has nothing and how they use boxes and cover them with table cloth to make them look like a coffee table.

Well as i was getting married, i asked my mom,

actually what you guys went through can be considered as hard time isn it?

My mom looked quite surprised and said not at all. Never once she ever tought her life was pathetic.

"We were happy and very content"

"We never felt...if only we are rich and we can eat nicer food"

My mom told me, the key to happiness is redha. If you have redha in your heart insyaallah you ll be happy.

Alhamdulillah. That one piece of simple advice is so essential.

Right now i am happy and blessed, i have a loving husband and soleh son, we have a place to live. Our house is very simple, it is the back of a shop, so we arrange them so they look homey and comfy for us. We have a fridge to keep our food, washing machine to wash our clothes and izzat is so creative that he made our own ampaian.  Alhamdulillah so far i never once complained and feel envy with other couples.

Sometimes i get confused when other people with bigger paycheck says that they dont have enough money and complaints about the economy.

I asked izzat, why is that so? He says their standard of living is high.

Alhamdulillah, i am thankful to Allah who grant me parents who raise me to be a grateful person and are able to be content with what we have. I am so so thankful to  Allah with my life.

Dear my children i hope you guys shall grow up happy with less.

Ameen

Our first family trip

Ho Chi Minh

28th January 2017

00.01 am (Malaysian time)

Gosh it has been ages since i last travel. The last time was before getting married. I really didnt see it coming. But here we are now. Alhamdulillah. 

Upon arrival, we browse through the internet and found out that people go to HCM gor shopping! We tried to search for other nature attractions nearby, and found the nearest would be Mekong river which os quite costly for us. 

But we are too grateful and happy for the chance and shall enjoy every moment. 

Most blogs that we find share shopping experience and tips, also the place of interest such as the war museum,mekong river and etc. 

Now, it s the end of our first day here, and it s amazing! Turning from a single traveller to a mom traveller, you really see things in a different perspective!

There are so many mompreneurs here that i almost cried😢. As we walked along the streets i see amazing women doing 'street marketing' while their children play at the streets. A lot of them have babies being put in a rocker!

I see small chairs and cute coffee table nearby their display area where they put their 'bento'. There were bowls of half eaten rice with some sauces. As they do their business they ll feed their children. 

Then as we walked further to the street shops, i was surprised that most of them live in the shop! Like the pharmacy for instance, at the front part of the shop there s poison cabinet, but right from the entrance of the shop i can see stove, tv set, hangers towels etc. 

It was really amazing! Why? Because they don't look troubled by that!!!! 

In Malaysia, we shall feel sympathy to the motorist who carries babies and small children on their motor. But in vietnam, it s really not a big deal. 

All i can say that they are very strong people! And to the mompreneurs in HCM, they are rasing great kids with a very strong common sense! However it s all depend on how you view things, if these mompreneurs utilise their situation as a tool to raise amazing children, i can see there shall be great numbers of awesome bussinessman from HCM in the future.

Phew finally. Still a lot to tell. Hopefully can pen them out tomorrow

Old draft of Motherhood, Publish je lah

Date : 17 January 2016
Time: 10.23 am

Time left: 30 minutes of when 'umayr wakes up

Husband is out for a meeting - cook - checked - shower -checked - at 11 - mama is coming - open the shop - must write - about - motherhood - fast . thankful - internet connection- husband's desktop not slow -

Alhamdulillah.alhamdulillah.alhamdulillah

One word to describe motherhood ~~~ roller coaster ride! (this is exactly how i felt just after i gave birth to 'Umayr, the Muslim Hero <3 p="">
Today, is already 6 months 2 days.

I remembered talking to my dear M about wanting to write about the whole new overwhelming feeling of being a mother, She said please do it as i already forgot how it feels like. I was shocked at first but today i realised she is correct. So must write down quickly, so at least something is written.

During the c-sect procedure, i was aware but too scared to think about what is going on, so i closed my eyes and prayed. Pray to ALLAH so that Umayr is safe and healthy.

and alhamdulillah. thank you ALLAH.

The night that Umayr was born, Umi helped me in the ward, so it was okay. Unfortunately the hospital only allowed her to be there only for the first night and not to be there even during the day.

So i was left alone with my baby (we haven't name him until 1 week), the new life, small, helpless, fragile sleeping beside me.

Oh first of all, just to remind you that i am such a careless and disorganized lady, i don't have everything planned perfectly, when i travel, i pack light and fast - so that describes my character.

and breastfeeding - it is not easy!!!! i had difficulties in positioning myself and Umayr, also in latching. I remembered in one of the whatsapp conversation when my friend E telling us how difficult it was to latch, i really can't imagine.

I was uncomfortable, clueless yet i felt a huge surge of responsiblity upon me. Of course, Umayr cried most of the time and i panic. Hearing the cry make s me want to cry too, because Umayr was so helpless. It was his first day in this dunya, of course evrything is new to him. I wanted to make him feel secure, and comfortable but at the same time everything is new to me too!At that time my whole perspective..............



ok continue later

Being A Mom

Azam baru saya ialah untuk banyak membaca dan menulis.

BLANK

BLANK

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OK i want to write about being a mother. I draft a lot of blog posts in my mind on my way to work end up being blank when i FINALLY get some time to blog. Umayr is sleeping soundly after such a long day with abi at the shop (and me at my own shop focusing, only to find out something that really shocked me - but i ll write about it one day)

When i was single, and childless --appropriate word is it?, i always observe my friends, relatives and random parents out there handling their bundle of joy. There are some occasion whereby i felt ' ok, when i have my own kid, i ll do it differently'.

Little that i know that when you become a mother, it is really beyond our imagination. Salute to all parents in the world. The truth is parents shall do what they think is best for their children, and every parents is not the same. So i think it is not fair ti judge a parent for whatever they do for their kid. However, as for me i am open for suggestions and discussion from others in raising kids. Trust me, i'm okay with it.

I think my close family and friends knows me well that i don't have what people call as 'motherly touch' or whatever. Sometimes i feel that i am a man in a women's body.  Too simple!

When we have umayr', we don't shop much for his fancy clothes, toys (apart from having a very tight budget and cashflow). Most of the clothes alhamdulillah are presents from the loved ones. As fr Umayr's food, of course i hope that we can feed Umayr with the healthiest food on earth!

But, being a new mom, running a business (which insyaallah expands and bring more benefits to people) , a pharmacist, i end up feeding Umayr with healthy food insyaallah but not fancy food. As long as there is carbohydrate, protein, fibre and vitamins, it' s good enough. It could be a plain porridge with brocolli and egg. I pray to ALLAH to grant Umayr health. Ameen. At the same time i hope Umayr shall grow up healthy and be the type of person who are able to live with less. Insyallah.
Ameen.

raw

i just need to let it out or maybe the best word is to write it out.

FB is not relevant, Blog is ok because the one who really cares who reads this, dan customer dan staff takkan baca kot.

aku sedih. rasa lemah semangat. Pada msa yang sama aku rasa aku hebat. Macam mana tu?

Ya ALLAH semoga apa yang umayr lalui menjadi tarbiyyah yang hebat dalam membentuk peribadi muslim yang mantap.

Tadi nak edar fliers. jerebu teruk. Hukum nya harus bagi aku untuk edar . sebab sales meningkat tapi perlu meningkat dengan kadar yang lebih cepat. aku rasa bertanggungjawab terhadap pemegang saham syarikat. bukan rasa tapi memang bertanggungjawab. Of course boleh suruh staff. tapi sebagai bos aku kena guide first time. kasi diorg semangat jugak. tapi nangis dulu sorg sorg dalam bilik air bila tgk umayr. tak sanggup nak bawa dia keluar dlm keadaan jerebu teruk. walaupun dari kedai ke kereta. rasa kesian sgt. mesej dlm group shareholder dgn harapan dapat sikit acknowledgement ttg perasaan dan concern aku tapi...apa yang aku luahkan dipandang sepi. Diorg tak faham. sekurang kurangnya cakaplah aku seorang ibu yang hebat. apekah....

orang boleh kata kenap tak itu dan kenapa tak ini...aku hargai pandangan dan aku ambil serius dan jumpa jalan penyelesaian...cuma aku nak diorg cakap...shifaa mmg it is not easy to handle a new business (retail) with new baby. syukur suamiku faham. kami sama sama dlm retail yg berbeza. jadi aku pun faham apa kesukaran yg dialaminya, tapi mungkin lelaki ni cara handle lain.

aku ni, menyusu..dengan surge of prolactin dan oxytocin mneyebabkan aku sensitif kot. namgis je la jawabnya

kali ni tulis je ...x sempat nak update blog. 15 minit ni curi masa luahkan semua. tidur. esok bangun dgn harapan baru. kekuatan baru keazaman baru.

ya allah pergantunganku kepadamu semain kuat. itu satu hikmah yang aku rsa sekarang. kalau semua smooth and steady nanti bila dah berjaya aku xleh nak cerita ive gone through this.

aku byk belajar dari kesilapan satu persatu.

YA ALLAH, aku mohon kekuatan dan barokah. dan peliharalah umayr. patut menagdu dlm solat lagi afdal. tapi nak jgk tulis blog

Ujian

Bismillahirahmanirrahim,

Fuh I am not sure how in future I am going to update my blog. Yes, indeed for those who read a lot, and writes, they shall stay consistent updating their blog.

Anyway today I am alone, husband is working (opps i'm married, alhamdulilllah), parents went out for kenduri, younger sister went for driving lesson, and I'm alone at home staring at the TV, hopping from one channel to another. TV programmes can't seem to satisfy me lately....then dozed off

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Woke up, the TV still on, it s NONA. One of the segments really caught  my interest, I end up with teary eye.

Story 1:

A story of 57 years old man, who opened 7 eleven in Bukit Bintang in 1984. His dad passed away in 1990 which made him decide to let go everything and stay at the village to take care of his mom who suffers from stroke. What really caught my interest was, as compared to many other similar true stories shown on TV whereby we shall feel sympathy towards the family and shed some tears out of humanity, this man is different. The house was very simple, like many other wooden village house.
The segment showed how he bathe his mom, helped her take wudhu, wear the telekung and perform solat. He prepares her food and drinks, and his mom looks very clean. Then he shall help to put a small desk on her bed for his mom to read the quran. Everything looks clean and organized. In most case we shall notice the caregiver looks quite tired, but not this man. He never stop smiling!!!! Subhanallah, he does seems very happy. He said, treat your mother like a queen. and he really does treat her like a queen. At that moment, I felt quite jealous of him, because I am sure he is one of the chosen one by ALLAH. He is still single, but I believe, it's because he is too good for any women on earth. He might be seeing his other half in heaven. Insyaallah.

Story 2:

It's almost the same as story 1, but it is between husband and wife. And the family are quite well to do. The husband who is actually a public figure Jins Samsuddin, suffers from Alzheimer. The wife took care of him almost the same way as the man in story 1. What really made me cried was her inspiring words.

" Saya bersyukur kepada Allah kerana diberi peluang untuk merasai ujian kecil ini"

Subhanaallah

after all, that s what life in this world for. to be tested. Hereafter is the ultimate.

inspired. I realized I haven't perform Zuhr prayer, so I switched off the TV.

perihal duit, perut dan mimpi

Bismillahirahmanirrahim.

Aku membuat keputusan untuk meluahkan rasa di sini, kerana blog ini yang baca pun sedikit dan mereka yang baca pun yang rapat dan concern tentang aku, x mungkin random orang akan jumpa kot. hahah. Setiap hari sebenarnya aku sangat berdebar, sejak 16 June 2014, sejak kedai aku dibuka. Bermodalkan 'hard earn money' dan duit simpanan ahli keluarga, aku mengambil risiko untuk mengejar mimpi. Dulu aku bermimpi untuk mempunyai kedai sendiri, dan ALLAH makbulkan doa aku. Dan hari ini aku merasai sendiri apa yang sering aku dengar, kisah kisah usahawan yang berjaya, yang melalui liku liku di permulaan. Antaranya :

• " Can you imagine, sitting in a shop waiting for customer to come"
• " Even, you got demotivated at the end of the day with zero sales"
• " You have to bear with first 3 years"
• "I was very fragile at that time, cried a lot"
• " I only have panadol for my paracetamol"                 

Dan kini mereka berjaya, rata rata setelah 10 tahun. 

Sebenarnya sekarang aku tengah membuat aku punya cashflow, tapi debaran di perut ni setiap kali aku but cashflow (macam bercinta), so aku stop and tulis dlm blog. nak tulis kat fb x elok. 

Alhamdulillah setakat ini sentiasa ada improvement, tapi memang penuh debaran, kerana aku rasa dalam perniagaan, yang mana kita telah laburkan semua yang kita ada, tekanan dia berbeza. Kalau dulu, hujung bulan dapat gaji, in fact x ingat pun gaji masuk bila, sebab alhamdulillah, nak withdraw atau bayar online selalu cukup, sekarang, lepas satu satu bank pergi, lepas satu satu atm card cuba. dan setiap bulan perlu pastikan cukup duit untuk minyak, tol, dan duit kereta. Tapi perasaan macam ni sebenarnya indah, kerana kita belajar hidup apa adanya. (walaupun sekarang i'm holding my tears). 

Seseorang yang sangat rapat dengan aku pernah menasihati aku untuk amalkan surah waqiah, tidak kurang juga yang menasihati aku untuk amalkan solat sunat dhuha, dan aku cuba amalkan. 

Tapi amalan surah waqiah sangat memberi motivasi, bukan lah dengan membaca surah ini, directly sales akan meningkat, tapi apa yang amazingnya, surah ini, menceritakan tentang hari kiamat. Setelah membaca surah ini, aku akan ingat tujuan utama kita ialah akhirat dan syurga. Jadi segala kesulitan yang dialami di dunia ini, sepatutnya membuat aku lebih kuat dan semangat! Dan dalam surah ini juga, ada menyebut tentang ALLAH yang memberi rezeki. Jadi setiap customer yang datang, aku merasakan ALLAH yang menggerakkan hati mereka. 

Apa pun, tak ada apa yang perlu aku rungutkan, kerana nikmat ALLAH terlalu banyak, tak terkira, Aku dikurniakan keluarga yang sangat memahami dan membantu, dan tidak cukup dengan itu, ALLAH hadiahkan pula keluarga baru yang bukan sahaja memahami, malah merasai apa yang aku alami. Maka aku dikelilingi  oleh orang orang yang sangat 'mendukung'. Itulah nikmat ALLAH yang paling tak terhingga. Terima kasih ALLAH. 

Apa kaitan tajuk?

perut - refer pada debaran perut @ butterfly in the stomach - everyday

duit - apa yang aku fikir setiap hari

mimpi- hari ini adalah mimpi aku semalam.